Originally published 2/19/2010 on Momaha.com
"If the FBI ever fingerprints him, he'll be guilty of something," my dad said.
You see, our 2nd child, Miles, has an unbelievable amount of curiosity, and that's putting it nicely. He has to touch E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!! As we’re telling him to stop touching this thing, he is already touching that thing. He's obsessed!
This quality has earned him a lot of nicknames. All of our kids have nicknames, but Miles has more than all of them combined. Probably the one that describes him best is “Stitch,” as in the alien creature from the Disney movie “Lilo and Stitch.” If you recall, in the movie Lilo says that “Stitch destroys everything he touches.” That pretty much describes Miles.
A perfect example of how his nickname came about was when he was two and we were visiting my parents for the holidays. My parents have a beautiful home that is for adults.
It is a perfect place for Stitch.
Mom has all kinds of cute trinkets on coffee tables, end tables, desks...everywhere. And the best (or worst) part is that they were just at Stitch's level. Of course he obliged by touching E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!
"Get out of there!" I hollered. "Quit that!" I yelled. "Will you stop touching that!" I implored. Too late, he'd already touched something else.
Then it happened - he got hurt.
He grabbed a snow globe off an end table that was too heavy for him to lift. It fell, landing right on his big toe and then breaking into a hundred pieces. He screamed. At first I thought the glass had cut him, but he wasn't bleeding. He kept on screaming. Something must have really been hurting because Stitch rarely cried more than a minute when he got hurt.
That’s when I noticed his big toe. It was black. And it was getting swollen. I grabbed a bag of peas out of the freezer and put it on his toe. After he stopped crying I turned to my dad and said "I should probably take him to the doctor tomorrow morning.”
"But he only cried for about 5 minutes. It must not hurt that bad," my dad said.
"Yeah, but he has NEVER cried that long." I guess a good bit of toughness is needed if you’re going to be overly curious.
So the next morning we went to the doctor and thankfully he determined that his toe wasn't broken. "I can poke a hole in his toe to relieve the swelling, but he won't like it. Besides, with some ibuprofen, it probably won't bother him for long."
We decided not to do the toe poke and, sure enough, the doctor was right. Stitch was back to touching E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G as soon as we got back to my parent's house.
I opened a savings account for his FBI legal defense fund that afternoon.
Our family does not fit into “traditional” stereotypes. My wife is the breadwinner and I am a stay-at-home dad. We have raised our children to be unconstrained by gender stereotypes and have given them the freedom to follow their interests and make choices with few exemptions.
Macy, our second oldest child, has preferred to dress and play more like stereotypical boys than girls since about the age of three. This is commonly referred to as “being a tomboy”. Over the years, Macy has felt like there is something different about her though. She didn’t feel like a tomboy; she felt like a boy. We have spent time discussing, researching, and meeting with various professionals and have come to understand that Macy is transgender. This means she is male even though her anatomy at birth was female.
For Macy to have the best opportunity to be her authentic self and continue living a life with joy, she has begun to transition to being male. The first step has been to take a masculine name. She has chosen the name Miles Emerson Watts.
Miles still has the same infectious laugh, clever wit, passion for helping others and love of sports as he always had… just with a new name, Miles.
For some time, our family has been working through understanding and supporting Miles in his transition. We hope you too will be understanding and supportive. You may have some questions, as we have had and will have. I will answer any question you have to the best of my ability.
Below I have included some of the resources that have been helpful for us. We encourage you to read, watch and visit these for more information.
I look forward to continuing to share our challenges and triumphs as we journey forward in parenting four amazing and beautiful children.
www.pflag.org - national non-profit organization with local chapters all over the U.S. that offers support to family and friends of gay, lesbian and transgender people.
Gender Revolution: A Journey with Katie Couric - newscasting legend Katie Couric takes us on a journey to discover modern-day dynamics of gender.
Trans - a documentary film by Chris Arnold that provides a glimpse into the lives of transgender people.
www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria - American Psychiatric Association explanation of what being transgender means (clinically described as “gender dysphoria”)
https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/142/4/e20182162 - American Academy of Pediatrics statement urging support and care of transgender and gender diverse children and adolescents
https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/142/4/e20174218 - American Academy of Pediatrics study of Transgender Adolescent Suicide Behavior finding "female to male adolescents reported the highest rate of attempted suicide (50.8%)."
http://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2016/gender-lines-science-transgender-identity/ - Harvard Grad Student shares the science of transgender identity
Raising Ryland - a book about a family raising a transgender child
There have been three Presidential Impeachment investigations in my lifetime, two during my adulthood. Only one was successful in removing a President when Nixon resigned rather than face almost certain Impeachment by the House of Representatives and removal by the Senate.